that moment
when
Tuesday, July 18, 2017 , 10:36 AM
Realization


My mental state is declining. 

Felt like I'm stuck in a dark room, all these thoughts keep coming and haunting me.

These evil voices echoed the room, driving me crazy day by day.

My box of thoughts are being abused and I can't do anything to stop it.

I struggle to breath, to think, to do things that I used to enjoy doing.

Why am I like this?

I became this fragile fragments that is glued together by hope that can barely hold me up anymore.

I could disappear into thin air any minute now.

I feel like I walk in two different worlds; the Reality and my distorted dimension.

I can clearly see everything is going downhill.

Sad to see that the person I used to be‒so positive, cheerful and full of determination, disintegrate slowly and left with a persona that just wants to be left alone and cry for no clear reason.

Not a single care given if I'm crazy or not. 

Maybe I am crazy but I don't want to admit I am.

Or I'm just waiting for the time I go crazy to come by and engulf me fully.

I'm not crazy but I don't know it anyway.

I don't even know half of what I want to do or think.

I don't have the motivation to do anything, to finish or to walk into Reality.

I hope to find the strength to pick up myself again, grow up and face the world.

Hopefully I could.