that moment
Sunday, November 30, 2014 , 9:44 PM
Friends Aren't Forever, But They Are Something Worth Fighting For.

Yes, friends aren't forever. No. I didn't say friendship. Friendship DO last forever. I said friends. Hey, people die, people get amnesia and forget, people get disease and people changes. 

Friends aren't forever the way they are. They'll change. They'll get old as we get old. They'll get disease and then, they'll die. Friends aren't forever but friendship is. The memories stay when the physical is lost. 

Memories will always stick in your mind unless you get 'nyanyuk' from old age and forget about yourself and others. 

Friends aren't forever but they are worth fighting for. When they are hurt, we shall protect them. If they forget who we are and who she is, we shall remind her over and over again for the rest of her life until she remembers that we are best friends since the dawn of time. 

Every school year, I know different people, different personalities. And in each year, new person comes into my life and blooms flowers inside my heart. But, only a few fight to stay and others just wilt away. 

Some comes into my life, knocks the door, comes in, then chit chat for awhile and go back home and said goodbye. But some not just visit but also decide to sleepover in my life.

They're bound to stay. Just some stay longer than the others. 

Every year, I did a thank you speech to my friends and my friend list haven't change much. But, there are a few fading away and started to say "Thank for your kind hospitality. I am very much enjoy my visit. Goodbye" and walked out the door. 

To Aina

You've been there since I started standard one and now, both of us just finished our schooling. Guess what, it's been 10 years now. 10 freaking years! Since we're both seven and now, we're sevenTEEN. 10 years. It's a very long journey. And I hope it will always stay that way. Always. Until we're both on the bed, sick and old and both 'nyanyuk'. Okay, maybe not the 'nyanyuk' part. 

Being apart for five years since you'd entered the boarding school makes me realized how much I really really miss you. There are times I just felt like crying just because I saw your name. And sometimes, I do cry. We rarely see each other during holidays so now that it's the end of our school years, I'm going to see you more often. 

Remember when I came to your school for the drawing competition and I was sitting on the chair, looking down while holding my 100 plus soda can and then, a hand came into my view and it was you and I jumped up and hugged you with a surprised look on my face? I actually wanted to cry. Like not sobbing. It's literally crying. But I was too excited to see you I forgot to cry. 

That's how much I miss you. Like in a scale from 1-10, you're literally at 10. Because why? Because I felt like I haven't met my long separated twin sister that I've been hanging around together since I was seven. Sisters. Yes I said sisters. You're my twin sister. A bit higher in ranks compared to others. You're my first best friend and will always be.

To Alya and Mila

Alya. You too, went to a boarding school and since that day, I really really wanted to see you. I wanted to hang out together, chit chat and tell me stories about your school. I read your blog and whenever your blog post has my name on it, I smiled. Yes, we'll always be together. Friends forever. Never ending friendship

I miss us, when we hang out together with Mila and play tricks on her. I miss Mila too. The cute little fuzzy wuzzy pumpkin. I miss form 1 but I especially miss form 3. That's the time where we really bonded. I miss the time we talk about Kpop and crush and now, that kpop topic will be the stories of our schools. 

Three different schools, three different memories. I really really miss you. Both of you. On a scale of 1-10, you guys are on the 9. Maybe we can watch movies together, eat popcorn, laugh, gossip, jokes around, play tricks on each others. Three of us ended our school life so might as well enjoy the holidays for a while and see each others more. 

To Nani

Woiitttt. I miss you already. Even though we spent the last day of SPM together, taking photos and videos together. I never expected someone I met at Jusco during my work period and called me 'Kakak' and I thought you were form 3 going to form 4 student would be my best friend. We spent our form 5 life together, since the early year until now. 

You remember about people saying you've changed and everything? Changed or not, you're still Nani. People changes. I've changed. If they say you've changed and don't like it, then ignore them. Friends will always support changes, from bad to good or good to better.
If you're slowly drifted to the bad side, then I'll pull you up and be good again. That's what best friends are for. Even though, we've just hanged out at Jusco the other day, I still want to go out with you. Together with the gang, Sya, Julul, Puyi, Aleeya and maybe next time together with Anis and Diyana. I may not be as close to them as you are but I'll be there. 

So yes, that's my speech from me to them. I may have excluded a few but because we had a fight when we're in form 4 so yeah. Anyway, thank you guys for being true to yourself and me. I love you guys so much. 

Saturday, November 29, 2014 , 7:35 AM
Humans Evolve Just Like Pokemon

Once, I was childish. I'm close to those who I am close to. I rarely have big circle. I don't extend my friendliness to others outside the range. Those who are near to me, are lucky. Sort of. At least to me. Or if it's also lucky to them, then good. Once I'm close to someone, I am loyal. 

Some people have wide range of friends. Extroverts. Just like one of my friends, Nani. She talks to a lot of people, she's also close to them. They chat, message and take photos. As for me, I am somewhat a reserved person, you could say. I'm not old-fashioned and I'm not entirely introvert because I want to make friends. I'm not a loner. It's like I'm stuck in between. 

Loyal is a big word. I know. I used to be friend with someone. Still friends until now but it's downgraded from best friend to friend. It's because I had a boyfriend. Yes, I know she was lonely. She's an introvert like me except she's a lot more than I am. So, she was slapped hard when I was fading away from her and moving towards my ex. And then, she gave up. And so do I.

And now, we're just friends. I can't say acquaintances though because I still know her. Most of her. So, up until that point was when I've changed. Not really after the downgraded friendship but more to when I've broke up with my ex. 

No, I wasn't heartbroken. Because I was the one asking for the break up. I was devastated. At him. And I felt like I was kept in a cage. And now I feel free. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to think about him. No more, "Oh what if he fell in love with someone else?" or something. No, I felt nothing. Call me evil but yes, I was not heartbroken, I was not sad. At all. In fact, the relationship and the break up teach me something.

There's a whole new world outside of me when I've stepped outside the box. And now, fortunately I don't have a crush on someone real except for Hisoka and Taehyun (Still not considered real because I can't meet him).

Though, I'm searching for someone who acts like Taehyun. Because of this man, I am now into feminine guys. Not like REAL feminine. Just that he's manly but a little softer than the usual guy. And look feminine too. Not too much though. Just a little tiny bit. Like this one:

Look at him. (He's cute! *O* That smile!) He looks manly enough to me but he has that bit of a soft side. I don't know why I'm drawn to him. Because he has that Hisoka's vibe when I first saw him? Probably but now to me, I don't see those mysterious vibe anymore. Now he just look cute. 

And looks like someone I could protect if he and I are in a non-existent zombie apocalypse because I want to be the hero, not him. He can be the sidekick, or the heroin(?) Let's say if I were with a manly guy. That guy will protect me and I don't like that. I like to stand on my own feet and shatter those zombie heads with a chainsaw in my hands rather than act like a princess and whine a lot. 

You could say I'll probably be a future Queen bee? Like all queen control and everything. Yeah, I think I could see it now. That's what changed inside me. My taste of guys and the way I want people to control me. Now I don't like people controlling me. I want to control them. 

Also changing is my way of thinking. My brain used to be filled with all the fluffy things you could ever think of but now, all I think about is something way simple than before. But, what's changing inside me is acceptance.

I never knew I was actually allergic to cats. I thought the sneezing was only because I had sinuses. But when I decided to check on why I sneeze a lot when I'm around cats, I found the answer. I was allergic.

I felt like crying. A vet that's allergic to cats? Yeah, I thought about that. I wanted to be a vet but then, I'm allergic. What is this nonsense?! I felt giving up but then, if I gave up, what would I want to be? All my backup dream jobs are suitable to be a part time job. The jobs can't guarantee long lasting supply of money. 

My primary dream job is a vet. And the others are just part time. "So, then what?" "Well, I can still be a vet that wears a goggle and a mask all the time." Yup, that was what I thought. I'm not giving up on vet. Unless I didn't get straight A, then I'm screwed; for life.

And you know what I've found during the search for cat allergies symptoms? Well, they provided a list of hypoallergenic cats. And you know what's a hypoallergenic cats? It's cats that produce less Fel D1 proteins that makes people allergic. 

Basically, what I was allergic to was the proteins, not the furs. So, these hypo cats produce less of them. That means my allergies will be a lot less or absence in the present of those cats. So, the one cat breed I'm interested is the Siberian. Yes, they are long-haired but they're hypoallergenic. Which is good because I've always wanted to own a long-haired cat that doesn't make me sneeze a lot.

 And who doesn't want these Siberian because look at this. LOOK AT IT!

It's so magnificent! I must have one! And if it's possible, I want one as soon as possible. Because why? Because I've been dreaming that I went to different pet stores to go and find a Siberian. Three times. THREE DREAMS IN THREE DIFFERENT NIGHTS and it makes me feel down in the drain when I opened up my eyes and saw the ceiling instead of a Siberian cat.

I wanted to ask for one if I got maybe 7A in SPM or something but then, I lost hope in my results. If I didn't get 7A or more, I wouldn't get one. Then, I would cry in the corner for the whole day. And Siberian is quite expensive too. And it's rare for them to be outside Europe because it's a Russian cat breed. Yup. 

I think I babbled quite a lot. Okay, not quite. But a lot. So, I guess it's this for now. Farewell. 

Friday, November 28, 2014 , 8:34 PM
New Blog Layout

Yes, I've changed the layout. It's not mine though this time. I don't code it entirely. I mean, the header up there, yes I did that. But the rest, nope. I'm too lazy to code even though I have all the time I need now. SPM is finished but I don't feel like coding anything. So yeah.