that moment
when
Tuesday, March 24, 2015 , 9:57 AM
{Ingatan*Memory*おもいで} and Life Goals Part One



Have you ever think about memories of you and the surrounding to be real? Memories are something that can be manipulated or twisted in a way that make you believe you have done something you didn't do. Studies have shown that people REMEMBER that they have committed a crime they NEVER did and can even explain it in detail. Technically speaking, you can't 100% rely on your memories because they're not truly true.


But then, how about memories linked to people around you? Or events that occurred before, that changes you the way you are now? All of that had happened but it's the way your head store that piece of information and replay it numerous times, thus changing one or several details in that specific memory making it not reliable.


But then, with memories you'll know who your parent and siblings are. Or your friends that you have known since you start preschool or primary school. People that hated your guts or guys that throw you away when you're fat and then try to come back when you're pretty. Does that means memories are also something that's important and is part of your life? Yes it is. Of course it is. It's just that you can't depend on it all the time.

My intention for writing this post is to actually tell how my memories remember my friends, ones that come and go and hopefully, stay for the rest of my life.


My life story started with a girl named Aina. You see, I met her in my first primary school year; when we're seven. And my memories are as blurry as a frosted glass so I might not tell the stories as it happened. I'm talking about my memories 11 years back so yeah.

 But I do remember a few things like I always played this pretended hiking a mountain (which actually was a 'busut' and it's short, about half the height of my leg, I think) thing with her and we would imagine that we were hiking the Everest with cold wind blowing when suddenly, a huge gust of cold air blew one of us off the 'mountain' and she would hang on to this wheeled bag of mine and would yell "Tolong! Merah, tarik kita! Kita nak terjatuh ni!

And I would go like, hang on! Don't fall down! When it's actually less than a 50 centimeter fall down. So, yeah we both had a great imagination. And once, we both played spies and would sing the Pink Panther theme song. Also, we had crawled into the school drain and out of the blue, I found a crocodile-like creature which is small but obviously scaly like a big one. 

So yeah, I have an awesome childhood. But, that's only the tip of the iceberg. I'd told you about us in school so what about at home? 

At home, it's gotten much much better and crazier. We both had become a tv model for a made up commercial (At that time, I got a new tv so I told her, hey let's be a tv model commercial! And she's like, okay!) We recorded it with my mom's old phone so yeah, I don't know where that recording went. I wish I could see it again, though. 

We've also rolled down the hill from the soccer field in front of my house. We've bathed in the rain, celebrated my birthday party together, talked about random school things. We've had fun until now, still. But with less activities and more talking, we don't actually talk about a lot of thing because when we're 13, we entered different schools. 


It didn't changed the relationship, it's just more mature compare to before but truthfully, I value my memories with her so so much. I remembered how I cried when I was 12 because I had to transfer school and thought I couldn't meet her again. And when I'm in high school, I would tear up listening to her name. And there's this moment, I've told this one before in my previous post but briefly telling, I saw her once in a competition held at her boarding school and I almost cried when I was hugging her.

So yeah, she's my most precious friend and even if she forgets me, I wouldn't. Because she's part of my growing childhood life and it was great. Thanks to her for those precious memories. I really appreciate it. 


So, moving on to my next cycle of school life; high school. I've said it before that I didn't go to the same high school as Aina so basically, I needed to survive on my own. Well, turns out, I didn't have to. I don't remember much in the first few months but I do remember when they changed the seating and ended up with a U with boys sitting in the center and girls on the U. I sat at the top right of the U and next to me was a girl named Alya. That's where I remembered it. And I recalled that she thought of me as 'sombong' xD 


I have to admit that I do act sombong. But, it's because I'm shy with people. Anyway, form one was also a blurry moment. I only remember certain things like the rasuk, and some guy named Amirul Syafiq or something. 

But, form three {15} was the moment I remembered most. It's where I was in the same class as both Alya and Mila. We shifted down a bit from the first class to the second but it was actually okay. I loved that class. First reason was because I had both of them there. Second main reason was because I had my former standard six crush in there too. I had a blast with Alya. 

We would talked about kpop and guys, dancing with Amaal or Izzati and me being Mak Long and the guy (I forgot his name! XD) is Pak Long. And, I remembered being fat. Hahaha xD Oh and there's two Amiruls and I used to like one of them! XD So yeah, good memories. I still would be in that class, except that I want my current body and still be with my current boyfriend so I don't have to be attracted AND post things about my former crush. xD I miss my classmates even though we don't talk much. 

And, I will want to come back with the current Alya so that we both can tell our past self that we both have awesome boyfriends. Then, come back to our present time and have a talk all day long. I love talking to her and love giving her advice. And, I don't know how I'm always with her but I am. She's fun to talk to, and joke with and cook together! xD She can be a bit mulut tajam and kuku tajam like dinosaur xD But still, she's my bestie. 


I don't like people hurting her but I know she's tough and I don't want people to drive her to hurt herself. That's why I'm here. I may be a bit soft-hearted (Okay, not a bit. I cry easily. XD) and can't protect her from bad people but I will be there to pujuk her when she needs me. So, Alya, call me when you need me. Or message me. Or come to my house and we can bake cookies together.


 I wouldn't be there if you dont call because I don't want to invade your privacy and make you feel annoyed at me. Just text me "Mai" in Facebook or  twitter or phone or at my front gate. I'll run to you as fast as I could. Even if you're not sad but you still want companies, call me. Maybe we can go and watch movies or go and try Korean food or shopping together so that we don't need to online window shopping again! >< 


And also, write a lot of blog posts. I enjoy reading them even if there's errors everywhere. :D So, yeah {Alya Ilyani Shukri} that I've known for the past five years, thanks for being my bestie. Also, hope we can live together for a few year so that you can meet my other side. The lazy, picky and night owl Mai. And hope that we won't fight or if we do, we discuss like parliament discuss whatever they like to discuss. (so many discuss)

I'm guessing this will be long so wait for part two everyone! (Or no one) Part two has my form 4 and form 5 friend :D And bonus, my life goal. Stay tuned. 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015 , 7:21 AM
My Results.


So yeah. I've got my results today and I'm pretty damn happy about it. Actually, I'm proud of it. I don't care if anybody question me on why I don't get straight A. 

I'm happy and no one can pull me down. I mean, yeah I have 2C but that 2C's are the subjects that I thought I would failed miserably. 

But I didn't! I thought I would get Additional Mathematics a solid D or E but no! I got C! And I'm happy because I used to fail my Addmaths so many times and I never even thought of getting C but I got it!

And Chemistry too. I thought I would fail that but I don't. I mean, yeah I know I wanted to be a vet so I have to excel Chemistry but I know how Chemistry is and how hard it is to me.

I mean, I feel confident now that I could get both C. I don't care if anyone's disappointed in me. I mean, I know my mom kinda is but at least I got her subject, English an A+. 

It was a burden because she actually IS my English teacher and my mom but seeing my English is A+, then it's good enough.

If I am happy with myself, I am. If I got an interview or something, I will proudly say I am proud with myself, even if I don't get straight A, and even if saying that would make me fail the interview.

I don't know why other people are nervous about me. They don't sit for the exam, they don't write on my question papers and they don't feel frustrated how hard the papers are for me. So, people out there, including my families. 

I love you guys but I know my limits. I mean, I may not have a Maths brain but I am versatile. I may not become a great chemist but at least I can learn things I want to learn quickly.

If you want to be disappointed in me, then go and answer those damn Addmaths and Chemistry questions first and then come back to me. Only then, you can comment all you want. That is if you can get an A+ in Addmaths like Wei Siang always do.

So congrats to those that got all A's or have some B or the same as me or any results you get. Because even if you can't get straight A's, you may have what they don't have; skills. And with those skills, you can be as successful as them or greater.

Also, I want to congrat my friends and of course especially myself. Haha. I never congrat myself and being as proud as I am right now.

Even though I got straight A's in UPSR and PMR, that means nothing. 

As long as I am active, versatile, willing to help others, then I know I can survive in the harsh world. All I need is perseverance and hard work. I know I can. And so do you :D

If you're not proud of the results, then get yo' ass up again, stop yo' tears and work harder and be the boss of others, not work under people.

Friends, I know you can do it. If I can, so do you. :D